I knew I wanted to someday tell share my story, praying that it would help someone else.  I prayed and asked God to give me a platform to do that. 

 “It’s Not Your Fault, A victim of Sexual Abuse/Childhood Trauma” – I didn’t learn this until I was 22 Years Old.  My abuse happened when I was 8 Years Old.  I was told by my abuser not to tell anyone.  Eventually, I was made to believe, I must have wanted it because I didn’t tell.  The lies predators make you believe.

 Some victims are never told, their bodies belong to them, and no one has a right to them without their permission.

 I decided to Fight!!! Fight for “MY” Dreams.  Fight for “MY” Visions.  Fight for “MY” Purpose.  Through this process, I decided, I want to help other young girls/ladies to do the same.

I researched, I prayed, and I asked God, “What would you have for me to do?”

 When I started on this journey, we had just begun Life Groups at my Church.  This study came at a great time when I was seeking God as to what direction to go. The Life Group is about S.H.AP.E.’s Spiritual Gift, Heartbeat, Ability, Personality, and Experience. My Spiritual Gifts are Leadership, Exhortation, Teaching, and Administration.

 I’ve come to realize that my Heartbeat is for those who are dealing with sexual abuse and childhood trauma and have not quite decided where to land.  I have a need, and a passion to let them know they are loved, needed, valued, and authentic.  They are fearfully and wonderfully made. This includes young girls as well as adult ladies.

 The Birth of Authentically Me.

 “My Why”

 I wanted it to mean something.  Something that speaks to who I am.  How I feel and what others may want to convey but didn’t know how.  I wanted it to be authentic.  In Psalm 139:14, God said, “You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made”. 

Priscilla Shire wrote in her book, “The Resolution of Women” (The life you’re renovating has far too much God-given potential for you to plant its roots in something so menial.  Dig deep and lean into the truth - the truth of who you are and what He’s created you to offer the world -and then orbit your life around that steadfast knowledge.)

It was time for me to dig deep and figure out who Tawanna was and is.

The Bible said, “I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born.  I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”  (Jerimiah 1:5)

God chose Me.  God set me Apart.  God appointed Me.  He did that so that I could serve Him Authentically.

 I’ve tried over the years to be like so many other people.  I tried dressing like them, talking like them, acting like them.  I even wanted to speak and teach like them. I have come to realize this was a self-esteem issue.

 Then one day, I had MY God Moment.  God reminded me that He created me in His image.  I had work to do, that only I could do.  I allowed you to go through what you went through so that your testimony can help others.

This appeared on my Facebook page while writing this post.

 A Note about Tawanna – Facebook Test

 She makes broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.  She walks with the universe on her shoulders and makes it look like a pair of wings.  She is a whirlwind of crazy chaos, but she is so damn passionate, that she is worth it.  She loves life and it loves her right back.  She belongs to no man or land.  She is hers before she is anybody else’s.

 She Is Authentic

 That is Her! That is Me!  That is, She!